I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
