we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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