he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I touched a dick in church today
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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