Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
