Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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