whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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