eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
