I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize