i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
