just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
