I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
