I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mom said you looked used
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
