I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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