If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm passing your future prison.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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