Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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