you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my being single is dangerous.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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