I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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