There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
