Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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