I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
