Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
