i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
