ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
