how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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