i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
