He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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