Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
