last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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