so let's talk penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
