You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
