I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
