Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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