Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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