why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
4 words: hood of his car
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
