He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
