I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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