We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if only i could text you this smell
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
