I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
