i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize