After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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