ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
