Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
