I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
