She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize