I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
