So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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