Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
