Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
