I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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