My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pants are for mortals
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
