and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my shit smells like andre
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
