I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize