So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
