I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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