I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
