you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
