I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
