its not stalking. its research.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize