no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
