Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize