so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
