just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
be right there i have to get my cape
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
