Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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