You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my being single is dangerous.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
