I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
