ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
