Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
