Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
