Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
