I just saw a hot homeless man
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
