Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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