Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
