What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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