I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
