I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
