oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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