I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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