I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
