left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
