4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sext me about skeletons
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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