Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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