the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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