Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
