God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
