dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
